Zephyr, Oceanid, Ember, Gaea

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance 
Smart man + dumb woman = affair 
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage  
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
____________________________

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________ 

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn’t need.
_____________________________ 

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________ 

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________ 

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________ 
 
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
_____________________________ 

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
_____________________________